Admit it. Barry Bonds would be a perfect fit for the Halloween Oreos, and the city of Baltimore as a whole. First off, its Baltimore, a city who currently is best known for a TV show that portrays how shitty it is. Maryland, a state that's so off, a campaign involving Mike Tyson almost got a senate seat. Mix in Barry's pharmaceutical habits and pleasant demeanor, and this is a match made in heaven.
As an aside, how exactly do you attract a free agent athlete to a place that used to be advertised as 'The City That Reads'? I'm sure the aquarium, and the homicide rate are both big selling points.
The once proud zerO's haven't exactly been power players in recent years, but this year they seem to be attempting a market splash to catch the Yankees and Red Sox. Nothing says dedication to winning like trading for a guy who was barely good enough for the back end of the Yankees rotation. Hey, if people are coming to the park to boo Barry, at least they're paying for tickets. And Miguel Tejada hasn't had line-up protection like this, ever. David Newhan? Give me a break.
If nothing else, Baltimore at least has practice celebrating an allegedly important career accomplishment. While no one may be happy to see Bonds break the home run record, at least the zerO's have experience in taping really large numbers to the warehouse in the outfield to countdown to breaking point. Cal Ripken's numbers may have been impressive, but there is a stark difference between impressive and important.
While many franchises have avoided or cleaned their roster of the smear that has been the steroids-era player, no greater haven has existed than the Camden's confines. Bonds can join such hallowed zerO's as Brady Anderson, Rafael Palmero, Jason Grimsley, Javy Lopez and Miguel 'B12' Tejada. The team gave SAMMY SOSA a contract. I don't know what was getting passed around during that ownership meeting, but it must have been strong. If Baltimorians can believe that a career .256 leadoff hitter can cleanly hit 50 homeruns in one year, they'll probably defend Barry even after his "If I Juiced, Here's How It Happened" book is published. Hell, somebody on the roster probably has a concoction that will keep Barry swinging into his early 50s.
As an aside, how exactly do you attract a free agent athlete to a place that used to be advertised as 'The City That Reads'? I'm sure the aquarium, and the homicide rate are both big selling points.
The once proud zerO's haven't exactly been power players in recent years, but this year they seem to be attempting a market splash to catch the Yankees and Red Sox. Nothing says dedication to winning like trading for a guy who was barely good enough for the back end of the Yankees rotation. Hey, if people are coming to the park to boo Barry, at least they're paying for tickets. And Miguel Tejada hasn't had line-up protection like this, ever. David Newhan? Give me a break.
If nothing else, Baltimore at least has practice celebrating an allegedly important career accomplishment. While no one may be happy to see Bonds break the home run record, at least the zerO's have experience in taping really large numbers to the warehouse in the outfield to countdown to breaking point. Cal Ripken's numbers may have been impressive, but there is a stark difference between impressive and important.
While many franchises have avoided or cleaned their roster of the smear that has been the steroids-era player, no greater haven has existed than the Camden's confines. Bonds can join such hallowed zerO's as Brady Anderson, Rafael Palmero, Jason Grimsley, Javy Lopez and Miguel 'B12' Tejada. The team gave SAMMY SOSA a contract. I don't know what was getting passed around during that ownership meeting, but it must have been strong. If Baltimorians can believe that a career .256 leadoff hitter can cleanly hit 50 homeruns in one year, they'll probably defend Barry even after his "If I Juiced, Here's How It Happened" book is published. Hell, somebody on the roster probably has a concoction that will keep Barry swinging into his early 50s.
No comments:
Post a Comment